There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
