Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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