Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
