Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The uberlube is also flammable
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
