I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
