there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
