I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
