So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
