we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
