Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How external is "for external use only"?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
