You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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