Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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