There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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