I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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