remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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