wat bout pragnant strippers??
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
