what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
