i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
