the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize