Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
soo... how was my night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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