So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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