I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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