Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
