Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
