I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
