I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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