I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
we have pet lesbian snakes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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