at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
