She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
