Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
