HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
