At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
