Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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