Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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