My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
