I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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