here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
