your parents love me but you hate me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
