He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
