2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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