You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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