Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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