I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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