Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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