yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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