I hate all girls vehemently.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
