Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
