i jhust puked up my retainher.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
