Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
