The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
