Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
